Last Updated:
February 11th, 2025
Your loved one used to be open and understanding but since they started using substances, they feel like a completely different person. Every time you try to talk to them, it is like hitting a brick wall. They refuse to listen, ignore your advice and dismiss the harm you can clearly see. It is frustrating and heartbreaking but what exactly is going on? Well, they may be caught in addiction denial.
In this guide, we will break down what addiction denial is and help you understand how to support your loved one in getting the help they need.
What is addiction denial?
Addiction denial is when someone struggles to recognise or accept the reality of their addiction. It’s not always about outright refusal as many would think; it can be as subtle as minimising the problem or convincing themselves they’re still in control.
This denial often acts as a shield, protecting them from the fear or stigma associated with admitting there’s an issue.
While it’s a natural response, it can delay the process of seeking help and making positive changes. Over time, this denial can cause deeper harm, not just to the person themselves but to their relationships and overall well-being, making support even more essential.
What causes a person to go into addiction denial?
From the outside, watching someone you care about show signs of addiction denial can be incredibly frustrating. You may see the clear signs of a potential addiction or even a full-blown struggle with substance use, yet every time you try to address it, you’re met with an invisible brick wall. It’s easy to feel disheartened, even ready to give up, especially when your efforts to help are brushed off or dismissed.
But are people in addiction denial simply being ‘ignorant’? The answer is a resounding no. Denial is not about ignorance but often a reflection of deeper emotional and psychological struggles. Below, we explore five reasons why a person might be in drug addiction denial.
Fear of stigma and judgement
One of the biggest reasons for denial is the fear of being judged. Many people with an addiction feel shame or embarrassment about their situation and worry about how others might view them if they admit to having a problem. This fear can be particularly strong if addiction contradicts their self-image, such as a parent who prides themselves on being a role model or a professional in a respected career. To avoid this judgement, they may convince themselves and others that they don’t have an issue.
Example: A teacher struggling with prescription drug misuse might repeatedly deny their addiction to colleagues, fearing it could cost them their job or ruin their reputation in the community.
Lack of awareness about addiction
Denial can also stem from a genuine lack of awareness. Some people don’t realise their behaviour fits the pattern of addiction, particularly if they associate addiction with extreme cases that don’t resemble their own. They might tell themselves, “I’m not like those people,” and continue believing their use is under control.
Example: A recreational cocaine user may dismiss concerns by comparing themselves to those who use more frequently, believing that occasional use isn’t a problem.
Fear of change
Acknowledging an addiction often means facing the hard truth that significant life changes are needed. This can feel overwhelming, especially if substances have become a coping mechanism. The prospect of giving up drugs can seem too daunting, leading to a refusal to accept the problem in the first place.
Example: Someone using alcohol to manage social anxiety might deny their addiction because they fear losing the confidence they believe alcohol gives them in social situations.
Emotional defensiveness
Denial can also be a defence mechanism to protect against emotional pain. Confronting an addiction means acknowledging how it has affected relationships, finances or personal health, which can be a painful and guilt-inducing process. Denial acts as a shield, allowing the person to avoid these uncomfortable truths.
Example: A person who has strained family ties due to their drug use may deny the addiction to avoid confronting the guilt of hurting their loved ones.
Influence of addiction on brain chemistry
Addiction itself can alter brain chemistry, making denial a physical and psychological reaction rather than a conscious choice. Drugs can impair judgement and decision-making, leading the person to truly believe they don’t have a problem or that they can stop anytime they want.
Example: Someone addicted to opioids might genuinely believe they have control over their usage because the brain’s reward system reinforces the substance as essential, skewing their perspective on their dependency.
Common phrases a person in addiction denial may say
- “I can stop whenever I want; I just don’t feel like it right now.”
- “It’s not a big deal; everyone does this.”
- “I only use it socially; I’m not addicted.”
- “I’ve got everything under control.”
- “I’m just stressed and this helps me relax.”
- “I don’t need help; I can handle this myself.”
- “It’s not like I’m hurting anyone.”
- “This isn’t as bad as what other people do.”
- “I deserve this after the day I’ve had.”
- “I’m not addicted; I just enjoy it.”
- “I need this to focus. It’s helping, not harming.”
- “I’ve quit before, so I can do it again.”
Does addiction denial happen for behavioural addictions?
Addiction denial can happen with any form of addiction, including behavioural addictions. These addictions don’t involve substances but instead focus on compulsive behaviours that can take over someone’s life.
Let’s explore some examples of behavioural addictions and why denial might happen in each.
What Is an intervention, and how can it help?
You may have tried to open the door to help your loved one, only to be met with resistance. Perhaps you’ve tried multiple times, each time met with the same outcome, leaving you feeling helpless or ready to give up. So, what can you do?
If you’ve found yourself in this situation, it may be worth exploring the idea of an intervention.
An intervention is a carefully planned conversation where family, friends or loved ones come together to encourage someone to acknowledge their addiction and seek help. The aim is not to ridicule or shame them but to help them see there is a real problem. It’s about showing love and support while guiding them towards addiction recovery and the professional help they need, such as addiction rehab or treatment programmes.
The ultimate goal of an intervention is to motivate your loved one to seek addiction treatment. This emotionally complex process can be challenging to carry out, which is why specialists help may be needed. Professional interventionists are trained to guide these conversations effectively and compassionately, helping reduce the risk of escalation.
While UKAT doesn’t directly offer intervention services, we are here to support you with advice and guidance. UKAT offers comprehensive rehab services for drug addictions, alcohol addictions, and behavioural addictions. Our programmes include detox, therapy, and aftercare to help your loved one begin their recovery journey. Whatever the situation, we’re ready to help you take the next steps toward a brighter future.