What It’s Like Having a Sibling Battling Addiction

What are the effects of addiction on siblings?

Addiction does not only impact the life of a person with a substance use disorder (SUD). It can tear apart every relationship they have in their life, including family members.

Siblings of people with an SUD can be especially affected and struggle with conflicting emotions simultaneously. Some of the most pertinent emotions and thoughts a sibling experiences when their brother or sister is struggling could be:

• Anger and resentment: “How could they be so inconsiderate? Don’t they love me like I love them?”
• Shame: “Their behaviour has become so dangerous and difficult to manage. I’m worried about what it will be like the next time I see them.”
• Guilt: “We grew up in the same household and with the same love and care. Why do they have to suffer, while I’m okay?”
• Pain:  “They were the first best friend I ever had. Their blood is my blood; their pain is my pain.”

The overriding frustration of not knowing how to help your brother or sister can force a person into a dark and lonely space.

Deepening dysfunctional roles in families with an addiction

Siblings are, in many ways, caregivers and providers. A sibling supports their brother or sister through the darkest of moments.

When a sibling starts to develop a drug or alcohol addiction, psychologists and family-dynamic experts feel that we sometimes assume roles to cope with the chaos. These roles can relate deeply to the way a family functions, especially if the addiction forms during the adolescent years. Some of these roles include:

• The Dependent: This is the sibling struggling with an alcohol or drug addiction
• The Hero: This is the person or child who strives to bring peace and restore family harmony.
• The Enabler: An enabler unfortunately, and often unknowingly, downplays the consequences of addiction.
• The Scapegoat: This is the person who is blamed for every problem that forms, often becoming the family “outlier.”
• The Mascot: Sometimes seen as a “clown” figure, this is the tragic character who tries to make light of heavy situations. This is often the youngest in a family.
• The Lost Child: This is the person who often manages overwhelming emotions by withdrawing and avoiding confrontations. They might have faced neglect in childhood.

We understand that broad labels may not fully represent the deep intricacies of every sibling relationship, yet recognising and relating to a role may help you better understand the dynamic you have with your sibling. For many, these roles can persist into adulthood, making it difficult to heal and form new responsibilities and relationships.

How do people feel having a sibling with an addiction?

So often when we consider how addiction plagues a family, we immediately think of the experiences of parents and children. We might believe addictions affect siblings less than other members, while this is simply not the case. Having someone so close to you with an addiction will cause disturbing thoughts and feelings to arise, such as:

How can I help my brother or sister who has an addiction?

Having a sibling battling addiction can make you feel lost and hopeless, yet it is critical to remember that you can still provide help that can make a change. Here are some steps to make sure your relationship stays strong:

I need help with my sibling’s addiction

Having a brother or sister battle with the forces of addiction can be heartbreaking and exhausting. You might feel overwhelmed at times, but we want to let you know that support is available, both for them and for you.

At UKAT, we provide comprehensive addiction treatment that supports not only the person struggling with substance use but also their family. Our detox programmes help your loved one manage the physical and psychological challenges of withdrawal. Our aftercare and family support services are in place to rebuild relationships and restore trust as they reach full recovery.

Reach out to UKAT today and take the first step toward healing for your sibling, your family, and yourself.