What is Second Hand Drinking?

Millions of people struggling with alcohol addiction may not realise the extent of the impact their drinking has on the people around them. For years, secondhand drinking has fractured relationships and torn the fabric that holds families together.

While much attention is given to alcohol addiction itself, the quiet ripples that reach family and friends are often overlooked.

What is secondhand drinking?

Secondhand drinking refers to the ways that a person’s alcohol consumption can affect those around them. The results of secondhand drinking may impact a loved one or friend directly, or they could trickle into their lives in less obvious ways.

Mental health expert and author Lisa Frederiksen, in her 2014 book “Secondhand Drinking: A Phenomenon That Affects Millions”, conceptualises the term succinctly. She states that our understanding of secondhand drinking can be likened to 30 years ago when doctors proved that lung cancer in people who don’t smoke was directly linked to secondhand cigarette smoke.

Today, the dangers of secondhand smoke are generally well-understood within the collective public psyche of first-world countries. People often have a visceral reaction when someone lights a cigarette nearby, and smokers generally keep the habit in a designated outdoor area.

Yet the dangers of secondhand drinking may not be as obvious.

How does secondhand drinking affect loved ones?

Secondhand drinking can be dangerous to the health of those around you, your relationships and your finances. If you’re drinking around loved ones and family members, you could be causing them harm, even if it’s unintended and goes unnoticed at the time.

As many as 1 in 5 of all adults have experienced one of the harmful outcomes of secondhand drinking. Some of the damaging effects of secondhand drinking include:

Physical and psychological abuse

When you’re around someone who’s drinking, their mood and behaviour can become less predictable and, unfortunately, more aggressive. Many experts believe that the reason people can become aggressive when they’re drunk is due to the way alcohol affects the brain. Living with someone who binge drinks or abuses alcohol may be more likely to be on the receiving end of physical, psychological or sexual abuse.

Domestic violence

In addition to being on the receiving end of physical or mental abuse, having someone in the household who binge drinks can make you more likely to witness domestic violence. Research illustrates that across many nations and cultures, alcohol can be positively associated with domestic violence, which can be especially harmful in the eyes of a child. Witnessing domestic violence may normalise aggressive behaviour for a child later in life, as well as increase the likelihood of them using a substance to escape negative feelings.

In addition, it’s not just being intoxicated that can increase the risk of domestic violence; it may also be the lack of access to alcohol that makes a person angry, creating a trigger point that instigates violence.

Increased risk of drink-driving

An additional risk of secondhand drinking affecting someone’s life is the increasing chance of driving while under the influence. If you spend time with a person who drink-drives, you may not be comfortable enough to refuse them, even if you should. The UK government observed that last year, 5% of people surveyed said they’d driven whilst thought to be over the alcohol limit at least once. Being in a car with a drunk driver is a secondhand drinking risk that too many people face.

Breakdown in the family unit

If a person in the family struggles with binge drinking, a secondhand effect could be the breakdown of the family unit itself. In a broad collection of research on how alcohol relates to marriages, it was found that an average of 1 litre of alcohol per capita brings about an increase in the divorce rate of about 20%. A parent with an alcohol addiction can be more likely to ignore children, or in some cases, family members may develop symptoms of codependency, keeping the addiction alive even though it does them harm.

Economic burdens

A further risk of secondhand drinking families face is that the person’s drinking may become dangerously expensive. Binge drinking can lead to financial instabilities, poor work performance and credit card debt. People with a substance use disorder may reach out and ask family members for financial support while hiding their addiction, or a child’s primary needs, like school uniforms and supplies, may go unbought.

How do I know if I’m affected by secondhand drinking?

If you (or someone in your life) are talking about problematic drinking behaviours, then secondhand drinking is affecting you. Regularly dealing with a loved one’s alcohol abuse is going to change you.

Being around them when they’re drunk can trigger emotions like fear, anxiety and anger, triggering your brain into a fight-or-flight stress response system (FFSRS). Managing your actions and the way you respond may help you cope with the effects.

Here are some ways to help you manage if you’re experiencing secondhand drinking problems from someone you care about:

Research as much as you can on addiction and secondhand drinking

When going through the painful effects of secondhand drinking, it’s critical to remember that knowledge is key. If your loved one has an addiction, use professional resources and expert medical guidance to learn more about the disease. After you’ve spent some time researching, let your loved one know you’ve been thinking about them a lot and reading sources to try and help. This shows that you’ve taken active steps, so now they may need to take steps in response. Remind them you’re coming from a place of love and care.

Practice self-care

If the person with a drinking problem is especially dear to you, you might be experiencing genuine turmoil as you see the damage they’re doing to themselves. This pain can become a heavy burden to carry, and you might get lost in fruitless attempts to help. At times like this, ensure you have some boundaries on how much energy you spend.

Join meetings or professional care groups

While a person with an alcohol addiction needs care, remember that the loved ones around addicted people often need support, too. Research local support groups that can connect you with families who’ve been through similar situations. Family therapists may also be a great place to start, even if you initially only attend alone.

Know that the problem wasn’t caused by you

One of the worst ways a loved one’s addiction can affect a person is the tendency to search for blame and tragically point it toward oneself. This is especially true for children and teenagers who grow up with a parent or loved one with an addiction. There has recently been a fantastic video entry from the YouTube channel SoftWhiteUnderbelly that gives the account of Leanna, the daughter of alcohol and drug-addicted parents. Her story highlights the power and importance of removing self-blame. We hope resources like this can help remind you that you are not to blame for someone else’s addiction.

Is there help out there for me?

If you or someone you know is concerned about the dangers of secondhand drinking and alcoholism, we want to let you know that support is available. The emotional toll of living with a loved one’s alcohol addiction may feel overwhelming, but you don’t have to face it alone.

At UKAT, we offer comprehensive addiction treatment services, including alcohol detox and rehabilitation programmes tailored to the needs of both individuals struggling with addiction and their families. Our team of compassionate professionals can provide the guidance and support needed to reclaim your health and your peace of mind.

Reach out to UKAT today. The help you need for a life free from addiction could be one phone call away.