Twelve days of Christmas kindness – The importance of self-compassion

Day 1: Forgive yourself

Forgiveness is the foundation of self-compassion, but many people in recovery struggle with guilt and shame about the choices they’ve made or the pain they’ve caused others. The problem is that holding onto that guilt can be a massive obstacle in moving forward.

But forgiving yourself isn’t about ignoring the past – it is about accepting that you made mistakes and letting go of the need to punish yourself. Recognise that you are doing the hard work of healing, that you didn’t mean to cause any harm and that you are ready to make amends.

Day 2: Practice patience

Addiction recovery is a process, and sometimes, it feels like you’re taking one step forward and two steps back. This can take a major toll on your mental health, but it’s important to understand that meaningful change does not come overnight.

It’s about small, steady steps, ups and downs, smiles, laughs and tears. But all that is okay! One of the kindest things you can do for yourself is to practice patience, especially when progress feels slow. Remember why you want to change and trust that every step forward is a step in the right direction.

Day 3: Celebrate small wins

It is easy to get caught up in the big milestones, but recovery is full of small victories that deserve just as much attention. Perhaps you met somebody today who is a big trigger but managed the situation without relapsing. Or maybe you just got out of bed when you really didn’t think you could face it.

It is important to celebrate these happy moments and remember that recovery isn’t about perfection – it’s about progress. Each small win is a sign that you’re moving forward, and acknowledging how far you have come can boost your confidence.

Day 4: Be kind to your mind

Your mind has to work incredibly hard during recovery. It processes emotions, confronts difficult truths and helps to manage triggers or cravings. It is so important that you are kind to your mind, as mindfulness and self-care can help you protect your mental health and keep you grounded.

Simple practices like meditation, deep breathing or journaling can all give your mind a break. Taking care of your mental health isn’t just an act of kindness – it’s essential to keeping yourself balanced and strong throughout your recovery journey.

Day 5: Set healthy boundaries

Part of self-compassion is learning to protect your emotional well-being, which means setting healthy boundaries for yourself. This often means avoiding people who may trigger you or saying no to situations that feel overwhelming.

This may be hard for some people to accept, but boundaries aren’t about shutting people out; they are about keeping yourself safe and focused on what matters most. Don’t be afraid to stand up for your needs, even if it feels uncomfortable at first. Protecting your peace is essential to your growth and healing, and the people who truly care about you will understand.

Day 6: Speak kindly to yourself

That inner voice of self-criticism can become deafening when you are struggling with addiction or mental health. Negative self-talk is one of the biggest obstacles to recovery, but learning to speak kindly to yourself can make a huge difference in how you feel about your progress.

The next time you catch yourself thinking, “I’m not good enough”, or “I’ll never get this right”, stop and reframe those thoughts. Replace them with kind, supportive words like, “I’m doing my best” or “I’m proud of how far I’ve come”. Speak to yourself the way you would speak to a friend who needs encouragement, and it can do wonders for your self-esteem.

Day 7: Take time for rest

Recovery is not easy and there may be times when you find yourself physically, mentally or emotionally exhausted. When you are feeling drained, it is really important to give yourself permission to rest.

Pushing yourself too hard will only lead to burnout, so give yourself an opportunity to refresh and reset. Whether you take a nap, enjoy a quiet moment with a book or step away from stress for an afternoon, rest is an essential part of self-compassion.

Day 8: Be proud of your journey

Addiction recovery is a journey, and you should be immensely proud of wherever you are on that journey. It can be easy to get caught up in how much further you still have to go, but remember to look back and appreciate your progress.

Make a list of all of the milestones you have reached and the obstacles you have overcome. By taking a moment to reflect on how far you have come, you can give yourself the motivation you need to keep going.

Day 9: Allow yourself to feel

Recovery brings up many emotions, some of which can be very uncomfortable. It can be tempting to try to numb those feelings, but true self-compassion means allowing yourself to feel without judgment.

As you work through the stages of treatment and aftercare, you may feel sad, guilty, frustrated or angry. Acknowledge how you feel, give yourself space to process those emotions, and know that they are all part of the healing process.

Day 10: Surround yourself with support

Self-compassion doesn’t mean doing everything alone, and one of the simplest things you can do for yourself is to reach out for support when you need it. Your support network can include your partner, family, therapists and support groups, all of whom can help you stay the course.

At UKAT, we are huge believers in the difference loved ones can make, and we offer family therapy to all of our clients. This helps to rebuild bridges, heal the wounds of addiction and equip your loved ones to help carry some of the weight when you’re struggling.

Day 11: Let go of perfectionism

Recovery isn’t about getting everything right and you don’t have to do everything perfectly. Sadly, some people punish themselves so much for one little slip-up that it ends up resulting in a total relapse.

It is crucial to understand that you are allowed to make mistakes as long as you learn from them. Know that recovery is about progress, not perfection so give yourself some credit for doing the best you can.

Day 12: Treat yourself with love every day

Self-compassion is for life, not just for Christmas! It is so important to treat yourself with love, patience and kindness every day, whether things are going well or are a little tough at the moment.

By making self–compassion a habit, you will stop yourself from falling back into negative thoughts and emotional patterns. This can have a major impact on your mental health and recovery resolve and give you the best chance of success!

Final thoughts

As the spirit of Christmas encourages us to be kind and generous to others, remember to show those same qualities to yourself. Self-compassion is an essential part of addiction recovery and good mental health, and it is a practice that will carry you forward into the new year. Every step you take in recovery is a step toward healing and by treating yourself with the patience, understanding and love you deserve, you can make your journey a little bit easier.

Contact UKAT today for more advice on self-compassion or to begin your own addiction recovery journey.